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missing (Free verse) by francis nor capule the cobblestones of paris on a lonely night
would not encompass what i feel
the moon feels without moonbeam
the clouds lonely and gray
the sun just doesn't shine anymore
the meals i had just isn't as good
everywalk i take is filled with silence
my mind seems like a void
that's how much i missed my beloved
the black's blacker, the grays grayer...
songs are silenced
my heart throbs but not so
and everything just isn't right..........
Up the ladder:
Changing the Air
Down the ladder:
A Melody
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Posted: April 5, 2004 5:57 AM PDT; Last modified: April 5, 2004 5:57 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.1788044 Overall Rank: 4937 Comments:
[6]
deleted user @ 68.169.177.107
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5-Apr-04/2:54 PM
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Reply
Zodiac, how can I trust your votes anymore? Too much is overwritten here, too many spelling and grammar faults. Some nice thoughts, but "my heart throbs?"
[10]
zodiac @ 152.18.18.75
> deleted user
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5-Apr-04/3:38 PM
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Reply
I get whimsical sometimes. Not with you, though.
[10]
zodiac @ 152.18.18.75
> zodiac
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5-Apr-04/3:40 PM
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Reply
I mean, "the cobblestones of Paris on a lonely night"?? What a leaping turd from the oniony roof of Sacre Couer. "The moon feels without moonbeam," too.
[n/a]
francis nor capule @ 210.23.227.51
> deleted user
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6-Apr-04/9:07 AM
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doesn't your heart throb???
[6]
deleted user @ 68.66.196.168
> francis nor capule
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6-Apr-04/11:31 AM
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Not for this. The sentiment is too gushing with too little meaning. How do the cobbleestones of Paris encompass anything, for example?
175 view(s)
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