|
|
peppermint (Free verse) by the indign
i had a dream today
i can't remember what it was
certainly there was peppermint involved
mixed with a little bit of sigh
certainly not
surely full of emptiness
vapid and without soul
most assuredly fleeing from the breeze
driving all the mess away
clearing the way for even more waste and doubt
a taste of the clear and present
a touch of the whole and clean
forge the sign and let us pass
maybe there's something pretty here
something quiet and new and wholesomely sweet
hidden amongst all the shit and piss there must always be
that certain little something
glimmering
shining
brilliant
peaceful and true
deep within the muddled mire
throw back your head and throw into the wind
a cry so loud the homeless listen
sounding you stand valiant, unbroken
i had a dream today
i forget just what it was
certainly there was peppermint involved
mixed with a little bit of awe
certainly
certainly not
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
| Graph | Votes |
10 |
|
0 | 1 |
9 |
|
2 | 2 |
8 |
|
1 | 1 |
7 |
|
1 | 0 |
6 |
|
1 | 1 |
5 |
|
1 | 0 |
4 |
|
0 | 0 |
3 |
|
0 | 0 |
2 |
|
0 | 0 |
1 |
|
0 | 0 |
0 |
|
1 | 1 |
|
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6153846
Weighted score: 6.1809406
Overall Rank: 1014
Posted: March 29, 2004 12:07 AM PST; Last modified: March 29, 2004 12:07 AM PST
View voting details
Comments:
186 view(s)
|
A little punctuation would not hurt this - not that I'm not for a little artistic freedom, but in this case - its a distracting omission.
I almost like this - pare it down a bit and I think it will be more palatable.