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peppermint (Free verse) by the indign
i had a dream today i can't remember what it was certainly there was peppermint involved mixed with a little bit of sigh certainly not surely full of emptiness vapid and without soul most assuredly fleeing from the breeze driving all the mess away clearing the way for even more waste and doubt a taste of the clear and present a touch of the whole and clean forge the sign and let us pass maybe there's something pretty here something quiet and new and wholesomely sweet hidden amongst all the shit and piss there must always be that certain little something glimmering shining brilliant peaceful and true deep within the muddled mire throw back your head and throw into the wind a cry so loud the homeless listen sounding you stand valiant, unbroken i had a dream today i forget just what it was certainly there was peppermint involved mixed with a little bit of awe certainly certainly not

Up the ladder: Quatrain
Down the ladder: Deja Blue

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.6153846
Weighted score: 6.1809406
Overall Rank: 1015
Posted: March 29, 2004 12:07 AM PST; Last modified: March 29, 2004 12:07 AM PST
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Comments:
[8] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 29-Mar-04/5:08 PM | Reply
Hmmmm.

A little punctuation would not hurt this - not that I'm not for a little artistic freedom, but in this case - its a distracting omission.

I almost like this - pare it down a bit and I think it will be more palatable.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.128.185.241 | 29-Mar-04/6:43 PM | Reply
A bog-soiled pneumostool
[9] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 66.213.67.10 | 30-Mar-04/12:34 PM | Reply
Interesting to say the least. Which I'm not known for that. I enjoyed it, and admit it, who wouldn't? It was off the wall and lacking a bit in grammer(But hey like most poets from the before the 20s aren't). -9-
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