a lie

Member since 2004 · Posted 27 Mar 2004 · 2 comments

I feel guilty. I'm not really listening. I pretend to care. My mind is elsewhere. Sometimes it hurts too much to say I miss you, because I don't always mean it. I go silent. No answer. If I say I miss you, I'm talking about someone else. I look to you for comfort and love, because I can't get it from him. I long for something true. Do I love you? Am I using you?

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6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

2 comments

[9] Shuushin 28-Mar-04/6:23 AM Reply

Good. This touches something real.

I'll suggest to extend it slightly so that you don't end on a question - this is not a good way to end (a difficult thing to do well).

[7] deleted user 28-Mar-04/9:42 AM Reply

I don't mind the questions at the end. The whole poem is a question unanswered. It's actually very clearly stated, but for a poem I'd try for sweeter sounding prose.