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The Cry of Lorquine (Free verse) by MacFrantic
I tread on the damaged countryside as mourning broke While the sun rose to the death of purity blackened by mourning veil A loud A tired cry erupted from the daughter of the dead Shame on REDEMPTION! Oh for GOD let him LIE! With compassion let him be FREE! But yet the crowd stood silent And none but the girl dare lift his eye from the sacred earth And none spoke up in defense of Madame Lorquine So set the sun on the Manor of such name My stay in Aesgntor was not so long lived And the citizens so hopeless cried in vain But while Madame Lorquine lay in shrouds The day died with the line of such name

Up the ladder: if really its me
Down the ladder: Mixed Feelings

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.25
Weighted score: 4.910598
Overall Rank: 9628
Posted: March 23, 2004 11:56 AM PST; Last modified: March 23, 2004 5:16 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 25-Mar-04/5:53 PM | Reply
nice title.

"but yet" - pick one (not but). Lie.

what made you think they were hopeless? What did that scene look like? Show me that.

Does the last line [of the poem] mean that the line, as in ancestry, was lost?

Lorquine is a type of butterfly, isn't it?

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