how my life is dying

five months since that move i made for five months now, i have been gone away to a college, a camp, a training bay and i toil, and fight, and grit my teeth, i die- all day on january five, my life ended two months since, and i am not mended what happened to me, on january five too hard to say, its hard enough to be alive my active work has been hit by a train my training has been cut in half, again i cannont run, i cannot fight, in my line of work, i should be in the bin after the best christmas of my life i arrived on the lines, a smile on my face i was ready to fight, to kill, to die the very next day we ran and i beasted myself for i once loved that for after that, i not run i can on that i was struck by a bat two months since, and i have been told so many times its just a bad muscle injury, you'll be fine fucking cunts, incompetent bastards fine!! now i'm told my legs have two stress fractures bastards,incompetent bastards, arseholes the lot of you what do i do? i train to kill.i train to die, alone