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the wind's last crescendo (Free verse) by fair12 summer, and the air
was warm like breath
in an August bayou rain
the front room
sterile, but for the
music stand, and the notes
the wind would carry
twelve strings and a rhythm
of memories, fading
like the last notes of childhood
yesterday still lingers softly
in the alcoveâs of our souls,
pulling at our heartâs songs,
seeking that child
who once learned to sing
Up the ladder:
my girl's day [tri-ku]
Down the ladder:
Easter should be closer to Christmas
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Posted: February 23, 2004 2:53 PM PST; Last modified: February 23, 2004 2:53 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.119203 Overall Rank: 5908 Comments:
Has a nice poetic feel, which is not always such a bad thing.
Pleasant, and has a finished feel to it. 148 view(s)
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well done.
I'm going to suggest, despite my liking it very much, that you replace "summer" with something more specific (either a particular day or a month). My immediate reaction was "overused word" - but you quickly pulled me into the body to forget.