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The Niche (Free verse) by Fear of Garbage
There is fear about woodwork and nighttime. They are so unevenly connected. You cut off your arms to make it better, you say, I am plain, this way I can be better. I open up the freezer door. There is chopped up meat inside hanging from the rafters, hacked and frozen. I am trying to figure out what to make for dinner tonight. I will be better if I can make dinner. For once, if everything goes where it is supposed to, I will be satisfied. I will be satiated and full. This goes here, and your arms go back to your body, they will go back, at least when you die.

Up the ladder: Jonquils, daffydils
Down the ladder: The Golden Rule

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Weighted score: 5.089402
Overall Rank: 6303
Posted: February 22, 2004 7:52 PM PST; Last modified: February 22, 2004 7:52 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 23-Feb-04/12:51 AM | Reply
A masterpiece from the "so incoherent it must be beautiful" school. -bow'ls-
[7] richa @ 81.178.197.110 | 23-Feb-04/1:23 PM | Reply
I think the comparison between woodwork and nightmare needs to be more elaborate.

If it works it would be ace, but at the moment I am not getting it.
[8] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 23-Feb-04/6:25 PM | Reply
something with less finality at the end I think would do wonders for this. Something more poignant.

I like the use of repetition.
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