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Seven Sins for Seven Men (Part 1) (Free verse) by wilco
A bearded captian upon the wheel His pride as strong as banded steel. "Not a thing on Earth there be, that can sink my ship into the sea. Through many perils he's come unscathed, and for many men he's dug a grave. And still he sails through day and night, forever searching to prove his might. One lonely day, dark clouds drew nigh, and ripped the sunlight from the sky. Through the night, waves stole his breath, and still he sailed with no fear of death. As daylight came the darkness passed.. He made it through the storm at last. The horizon brightened, clear and blue, and a lone man watched as the ocean grew. A capsized vessel on the sea.. God answered not the captains plea. to save him from the murky depths, and as he sank to hell he wept.

Up the ladder: God Save The King

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.888889
Weighted score: 6.4444447
Overall Rank: 745
Posted: February 19, 2004 6:08 PM PST; Last modified: April 22, 2004 1:33 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.177 | 19-Feb-04/6:31 PM | Reply
A brave ode to the ghost pirate LeChuck. -10-
[8] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 19-Feb-04/7:42 PM | Reply
Why did the god kill this man? For his pride perhaps. Did he not think the man would learn the futility of his ways?

Was he jealous - is it a jealous god?

Who was the lone man? It is the first man who realizes he has no one to save him?
[7] nentwined @ 66.92.28.14 | 22-Apr-04/2:07 PM | Reply
nice, but where are the six other sins?
[7] nentwined @ 66.92.28.14 > nentwined | 22-Apr-04/2:08 PM | Reply
sorry, part one.

la.
[8] deleted user @ 68.66.196.168 | 22-Apr-04/2:24 PM | Reply
Last line of first verse needs a ".
This flows very nicely right up to the end. The only problem is that I don't see what happened. He made it through the storm, then in the clear day we find his ship capsized and him sinking to hell.
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