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Love that's not true or double-sided (Free verse) by fevriere Kinky crime that tricks and treats and never tries too hard
runs underground electric, inspires dandelions in my wrists and eyes
this paper phase, breeze-waltzing on my grave,
fever-pleased and mortally diseased
flies, and slowly leaves.
Up the ladder:
A Violent Autumn
Down the ladder:
Remembrance
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: February 8, 2004 7:26 AM PST; Last modified: February 8, 2004 7:26 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.2384057 Overall Rank: 4091 Comments:
[10]
zodiac @ 67.240.155.70
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8-Feb-04/8:44 AM
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Reply
There should be punctuation after hard (a comma, probably) and eyes (a dash, comma, or semicolon). You might change the comma after flies to a dash. Great.
[n/a]
fevriere @ 62.254.128.6
> zodiac
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8-Feb-04/8:45 AM
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Reply
Ah, delicious. Thank-you very much. :)
Billy Bunturd.
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