Ode № 86499
"In the Air"
My head is spinning around
And there is no one to bond with
Its like a moon in my hands
Glowing radically into my face
I'm saying the words
Even I dont comprehend
Would you give me a hand
To get off of this ground
To run through this big crowd
To fly up to the clouds
Open up and look down
On to the world
With the eyes of a bird
To look into my face
Through a third persons eyes
Please dont tell me the lies
I dont want to be close
To anyone in this world
My heart's beating the rhymes
My soul's bearing a crime
Dont deserve all this pain
Outside is a rain
Running down the lane
Am I going insane?
I see sparks through the dark
I sit down in a park
Lonely with my dispair
Waiting for a repair
Of my beating heart
In the shadow I see
What I needed to breathe with
Like a dove with an eagle
Playing hide and seek
And you cant even turn
And you cant even blink
One second passed by
And the moment is gone
You cant catch it again
You cant hold in back
Now you can turn your head
And throw yourself back
The cliff is only one step away
Rushing blood through my veins
And I'm not holding back
Do I stay, do I go?
And will anyone know
My life just saw the end of its rope
And I feel high and low
As I scream in the air
The wind's blowing my hair
Tears running down my face
Would this hell ever end?
Will I see the land?
Feeling under my feet
Will I feel the heat?
Of my barely there soul
Will I ever know
Strugles of my own world
And the long curvy road
Who knows where it would end
But i do want to land
So Lord in the skies
Please reach down and hold my hand...
3 comments
2) If we were ever for some reason to quote from this poem, then we would put the title in quotation marks. You don't. Quotation marks "dont" signify "emphasis", "boldface", or "italics".
2) Why don't you punctuate, or capitalize I's? Is it because it's easier? Do you think we want to read something you haven't put effort into? (also, can't is a contraction for cannot. Cant is what poetry without punctuation usually is.)
3) The way it slips into and out of rhyme is weird. Make it all not rhyme. Then you can say what you want instead of what rhymes.
4) It's cool in a Sunday youth-group folk-rock song sort of way how the "in the air" theme ends with "Lord in the skies." Not my taste, but probably somebody's. I hope you make these corrections. We get a lot of Lord-hold-my-hand poems here that are much worse.
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