zodiac7 Feb 2004

1) Not an Ode.
2) If we were ever for some reason to quote from this poem, then we would put the title in quotation marks. You don't. Quotation marks "dont" signify "emphasis", "boldface", or "italics".
2) Why don't you punctuate, or capitalize I's? Is it because it's easier? Do you think we want to read something you haven't put effort into? (also, can't is a contraction for cannot. Cant is what poetry without punctuation usually is.)
3) The way it slips into and out of rhyme is weird. Make it all not rhyme. Then you can say what you want instead of what rhymes.
4) It's cool in a Sunday youth-group folk-rock song sort of way how the "in the air" theme ends with "Lord in the skies." Not my taste, but probably somebody's. I hope you make these corrections. We get a lot of Lord-hold-my-hand poems here that are much worse.