| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Fastened to my belt (Free verse) by irishfolksuicide This; a walk in which a sea wind would thrive
and drop as low as deserts bare rock, where
all the houses stand thirty steps back.
A road that, to my eye, would lead to the sun
were it not to rise, a gentle slope, to a cliff face
high church.
And walking this road, past people that never
tired of looking through windows. I carried
with me contrition
fastened to my belt, ready to offer the priest.
And the priest when I saw him, smiled and
held me
but like a trophy and not a brother. Next time
fastened to my belt will be a grenade.
Up the ladder:
Major
Down the ladder:
Stop
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Posted: January 27, 2004 7:43 AM PST; Last modified: January 27, 2004 1:31 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.089402 Overall Rank: 6310 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[10]
zodiac @ 152.18.33.196
|
27-Jan-04/1:40 PM
|
Reply
This is really really good. Maybe the best post of the day. I just have one small question: the priest gives contrition, right? Or do you mean for it to be reversed?
[n/a]
irishfolksuicide @ 81.178.235.157
> zodiac
|
27-Jan-04/3:05 PM
|
Reply
The contrition is the remorse shown by the first person 'I', towards the priest.
[10]
zodiac @ 152.18.33.190
> irishfolksuicide
|
27-Jan-04/4:51 PM
|
Reply
You're right.
Wondrously fetching.
need more writers like you.
207 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
