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Semite to Semite (Other) by PodPoet
Bloodshed spells the doom Of generations gone and to be Hatred seeths and boils over Poison ivy kills the olive tree Hey, don't we look the same We children of Abraham Praying to the same God Slaughtering the same lamb Deep dark eyes Under glamorous lashes Victims alike Of different fascists Crucify and curse And murder ourselves Even as we drink From the same wells Time to embrace Semite to semite And stop for good This endless fight Deep dark eyes Under glamorous lashes Victims alike Of different fascists Kill the cliche Undo the past Build a peace Built to last A dry desert home Where both tribes agree To honor and worship The other's dignity Deep dark eyes Under glamorous lashes Victims alike Of different fascists

Up the ladder: London Calling
Down the ladder: Lost (not a poem)

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Weighted score: 5.089402
Overall Rank: 6272
Posted: May 23, 2005 8:35 PM PDT; Last modified: May 24, 2005 6:38 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 | 23-May-05/8:40 PM | Reply
I don't know that this is a concrete...I'm a fan of repetition to some extend but I think it's too much here. Try the "deep dark eyes part mybe every third or fourth stanza...
[n/a] PodPoet @ 68.6.188.203 > wilco | 23-May-05/8:58 PM | Reply
Thanks, and I agree with you. Cut down on the "chorus" and I like it more. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
[8] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 24-May-05/11:26 AM | Reply
You should set off the refrain some way, indented perhaps, Maybe call this a lyric. Most of this is good, but "worship" goes too far.
[n/a] PodPoet @ 68.6.188.203 > Dovina | 24-May-05/6:40 PM | Reply
Thanks for your thoughts Dovina. Agreed, indenting the refrain looks & reads better. As for doing away with "worship," I feel strongly about keeping that word. I feel that only when Jews and Arabs go beyond respecting to actually loving each other as worthy people, will the nightmare end.
[8] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > PodPoet | 24-May-05/6:48 PM | Reply
To honor The other's dignity is good. But "To honor and worship The other's dignity"? Nope, that goes too far in the direction of impossibility.
[7] wilco @ 24.165.207.93 | 25-May-05/6:26 PM | Reply
The indentations are not needed. Also for someone who wants to kill the cliche, there's a lot of it here...maybe that's the point.
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