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A scarce flower~ (Free verse) by clumseYdaiseY
he treated her like a scarce flower he seeds her in a beautiful garden beside the river he tucked her wif colorful dancing honeybees he tasted her in the sweetest way to live.. he took her for a walk in his endless dream he sang her name and she never be the same the star above witnessed their first kiss there she believed he'd be the one she'll always miss.. every endless night she pray but in every meaningless dream she'd be the pray she couldn't find an answer so she hides from the star she thought "he's still a star and way too far".. so she let him free in his own world carrying around his broken shining pearl possibly his glory, possibility is what she needs there she is bathing with emptiness deserving her creed.. but she still has faith in herself that one fine day she'll return to her desired path believing the star is not so far, cos she still can feel his light shining from afar.. foolish her wasting her tears for so long she lost her heart, she lost his rhyme n she lost their song her heart stop bleeding eventhough she cant stand by her own poor love, he let it bloom itself and die alone.. he never thought a flower might die he watch her dying with tears held in his eyes she left a goodbye kiss on her petal and a message on the ground i'm sorry dear, i didn't mean to let you down.. darling, u know how much i loved you..

Down the ladder: regret

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.75
Weighted score: 4.970199
Overall Rank: 8485
Posted: January 25, 2004 11:56 PM PST; Last modified: January 25, 2004 11:56 PM PST
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Comments:
[8] Joshua_Tree @ 68.230.105.101 | 18-Jun-05/9:09 PM | Reply
The first 4 verses were excellent. That's exactly the level of abstraction that best suits your style. You can often make a stronger point by allow the reader to think about where you may be coming from in your life with your writing than you do when you spell it out for them.
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