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across the lake (Free verse) by baden
Across the Lake This cold mountain vista reflected so clear, So far across the lake, but seems so near. Snow like icing , dusted on peaks, Shadowey ravines and fast rocky creeks. There by a bluff a hawk soaring on high, For a moment I wished and dreamed I could fly. Below me the lake in shimmering blue, Then into a valley and upward I flew. Loose shingle rock grey in the morn, Steep black cliffs from where it was born Rainbows danced where a waterfall fell, Soft in a mist like a magical spell. Past great rocks perched on high, Like mountain gods , they laughed at the sky. Great rivers of snow caught and held fast, Many things of wonder I saw as I passed. Then down to the lake far below I flew, Past a dark valley where bright flowers grew. Then over that lake, my wings did soar, Past washed and black rocks to a familiar shore. There in a house perched high on its street, Sat a man with a rug covering his feet. By a chipped wooden window in silence he sat, His white face warmed with an old woolen hat. He watched as I passed, his eyes stared into mine, Sleek wings caught the sunlight and made them shine. Then gone from the sky, back alone I sat, By a chipped wooden window , in an old woolen hat.

Up the ladder: All are welcomed.
Down the ladder: Weep In Me

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8577
Posted: January 16, 2004 6:58 PM PST; Last modified: January 16, 2004 6:58 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] baden @ 203.220.226.148 | 16-Jan-04/7:00 PM | Reply
inspired by the clearest day ,looking across a lake in nz and dreaming
[7] richa @ 81.178.245.252 | 17-Jan-04/8:08 AM | Reply
Seems to flow well bar the last verse. A little unremarkable though - would get a few marks on the dark angel mediocrity scale perhaps.
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