| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Key to my heart (Free verse) by nicole081083 A fence has been built over the years
It was built to protect me from tears
This fence was built around my heart
And it has been tearing me apart
Yes this fence keeps harmful people out
But also people I care about
I let people in my heart in the past
But few of these relationships seemed to last
I didn't want to be hurt anymore
So I threw away the key and locked the door
Now I'm looking for the key
I've looked everywhere, where could it be?
Up the ladder:
death
Down the ladder:
Fishing Trip
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.8
Posted: January 14, 2004 2:38 PM PST; Last modified: January 14, 2004 2:38 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.2145653 Overall Rank: 4407 Comments:
[n/a]
Christof @ 217.44.77.166
|
16-Jan-04/5:24 AM
|
Reply
I'm being picky, but there's a bit of a mixed metaphor here - the fence and the door. Do fences have doors? Wouldn't a gate be better? You'd need a new rhyme - you could say 'I didn't want to be hurt again' and gor a for a para-rhyme. But anyway... So much for my wisdom.
265 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
