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Lonely (Free verse) by DevilTmptrss A lonely boy
and a lonely girl
on a lonely road at night.
She hopes that he'll be tender.
He prays he does it right.
They kiss each other
warm and sweet
and wet with hungry passion.
Buttons fly,
and zippers fall,
till they're entwined in
naked flesh and
moonlihgt flooding blind.
They fumble towards enchanted ecstasy
for hours only to find,
that once again
they were alone;
now on a lonely road at dawn.
Up the ladder:
Tattered
Down the ladder:
My Hidden Love for You
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.4
Posted: August 6, 2002 3:20 PM PDT; Last modified: August 6, 2002 3:20 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9284782 Overall Rank: 9313 Comments:
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159
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6-Aug-02/10:56 PM
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Reply
What's the theme here...loneliness? If your aim is to clumsily insinuate that having sex only temporarily removes loneliness, then I suppose you're succeeded. But the moral of the story was so obvious from the start, and so overclimactically stated, that you might as well have left out the last 90% of the poem.
Heheh, "buttons fly" makes me think that robots are exploding or something.
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