poemranker ::Lonely by DevilTmptrss

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Free verse № 7789

Lonely

Member since 2002 · Posted 6 Aug 2002 · 2 comments

A lonely boy and a lonely girl on a lonely road at night. She hopes that he'll be tender. He prays he does it right. They kiss each other warm and sweet and wet with hungry passion. Buttons fly, and zippers fall, till they're entwined in naked flesh and moonlihgt flooding blind. They fumble towards enchanted ecstasy for hours only to find, that once again they were alone; now on a lonely road at dawn.

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mean 4.40 weighted 4.93 rank 9298 views 157 View voting details →

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2 comments

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 6-Aug-02/10:56 PM Reply
What's the theme here...loneliness? If your aim is to clumsily insinuate that having sex only temporarily removes loneliness, then I suppose you're succeeded. But the moral of the story was so obvious from the start, and so overclimactically stated, that you might as well have left out the last 90% of the poem.
[4] Agemo-Z 7-Aug-02/12:03 AM Reply
Heheh, "buttons fly" makes me think that robots are exploding or something.