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On Visiting My Father (Lyric) by sliver
If I wasn't at your funeral There's no way I could know That you're locked inside a casket Somewhere down below. It looks so dead and vacant In this corner of your newfound home, But I'm not too sure it'll help when they finally place your stone. The grass is brown and withered As are the leaves beneath my knees While I watch the prayers I whisper As my breath begins to freeze. The sun casts winter shadows which slowly envelope me, As I pray for the soul of a dead man In the shade of a lifeless tree.

Up the ladder: The Annual January Thaw
Down the ladder: (The vinyards of Tuscany)

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 99
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 74

Arithmetic Mean: 6.2
Weighted score: 6.198907
Overall Rank: 992
Posted: November 4, 2003 11:15 PM PST; Last modified: November 10, 2003 6:59 AM PST
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Comments:
[10] Wobble McFly @ 195.157.153.253 | 5-Nov-03/5:48 AM | Reply
Poemeranker has been flooded with a deluge of "dad" and "dead dad" poems in recent days.

I refer you to the hugely poignant poem "Fathers" by amielou82:

http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=73528

Full marks for keeping to this socially important theme!

-10-
[10] deleted user @ 169.244.70.148 | 6-Nov-03/6:19 AM | Reply
love the poem, best one I read 2day <10>
[10] Katzclear @ 12.222.55.183 | 9-Nov-03/10:20 AM | Reply
Aww that's sad. Is Bratsy's uncle your dad?
[n/a] sliver @ 63.189.17.119 > Katzclear | 9-Nov-03/10:23 AM | Reply
Ya, she writes about him alot too.
[10] electroman1979 @ 205.188.208.105 | 16-Nov-03/7:39 PM | Reply
great poem, i miss him too, 10
[10] deleted user @ 198.81.26.40 | 19-Nov-03/3:54 PM | Reply
Wow Sliver! That is THY best poem i have ever heard! I don't agree with the point system either, but i will state it simpler then Rockmage-- it should go to one million. You said my poem deserves 1000, and it describes him well - this deserves 1 million.... awesome poem----- 10/10
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