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The success of a relationship (Free verse) by april fool
My best relationship lasted only 30 mins on a train She was beautiful; she was exciting; she was EVERYTHING! But I did not speak to her As that would have been fun And we would have laughed and laughed The jostling journey and jokes we would share And we would meet again And again And music and cinema and shows and concerts and books and looks And love And seriousness And we would meet the parents And set up home And get under each other's feet And argue And fight And blame each other And have kids to make it better And separate And divorce And hate each other ...So ...for the sake of the kids, I just smiled warmly at her, said nothing and got off at the next stop.

Up the ladder: tai chi
Down the ladder: Returning

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.714286
Weighted score: 5.192101
Overall Rank: 4622
Posted: August 3, 2002 3:38 PM PDT; Last modified: August 3, 2002 3:38 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] PawnedTidal @ 68.35.210.72 | 12-Sep-02/5:12 PM | Reply
Me again. I really enjoy your writing. Profound yet humorous all at once.
[7] god'swife @ 209.178.176.11 | 12-Sep-02/5:31 PM | Reply
Welcome to the new millenium. i think it's well constructed except for line 2. Doesn't take much away but it wouldn't be hard to tidy.
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