poemranker ::The success of a relationship by april fool

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Free verse № 7322

The success of a relationship

Member since 2002 · Posted 3 Aug 2002 · 2 comments

My best relationship lasted only 30 mins on a train She was beautiful; she was exciting; she was EVERYTHING! But I did not speak to her As that would have been fun And we would have laughed and laughed The jostling journey and jokes we would share And we would meet again And again And music and cinema and shows and concerts and books and looks And love And seriousness And we would meet the parents And set up home And get under each other's feet And argue And fight And blame each other And have kids to make it better And separate And divorce And hate each other ...So ...for the sake of the kids, I just smiled warmly at her, said nothing and got off at the next stop.

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mean 5.71 weighted 5.19 rank 4618 views 133 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

2 comments

[6] PawnedTidal 12-Sep-02/5:12 PM Reply
Me again. I really enjoy your writing. Profound yet humorous all at once.
[7] god'swife 12-Sep-02/5:31 PM Reply
Welcome to the new millenium. i think it's well constructed except for line 2. Doesn't take much away but it wouldn't be hard to tidy.