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voyeur (Free verse) by richa
Peeling through a window of clear air
like the stems of a daffodil,
to see a girl, a boy, and a hired motel
as plain as a shop front,
this was not the scene she had built
from the collected leaves,
clumsy fingers, she bled like a cut
and then washed,
my hands are still wet.
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.5384617
Weighted score: 6.855764
Overall Rank: 299
Posted: October 16, 2003 7:14 AM PDT; Last modified: October 16, 2003 7:14 AM PDT
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Comments:
287 view(s)
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I think you should change "she bled like a cut" to "she bled like a cunt".
Then it would rhyme with the previous line "as plain as a shop front"
Your friend,
doug