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voyeur (Free verse) by richa

Peeling through a window of clear air like the stems of a daffodil, to see a girl, a boy, and a hired motel as plain as a shop front, this was not the scene she had built from the collected leaves, clumsy fingers, she bled like a cut and then washed, my hands are still wet.

Tits 16-Oct-03/7:32 AM
Richard,

I think you should change "she bled like a cut" to "she bled like a cunt".

Then it would rhyme with the previous line "as plain as a shop front"

Your friend,

doug




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