Vampires and sunblock 3000

I get tired of life in the light, it just doesnt seem right. A creature like me, a hybrid between vampire and zombie chemically enhanced, tripping. I probably have the cleanest house on the block, and my roses are dying. When I do see the sun, my eyes burn and I curse it, snatching the sunglasses. Soon I'll need sunblock 3000, I think. My lawn has grown into the rainforest and the neighbors have resigned themselves to mowing it for me. I have found a free workforce doing nothing- quite amusing isn't it? Wish they would resurrect my roses. They also offer free beers and joints on those chance moments when I go out and their eyes catch sight of me. They stare, much like one would stare at a freak of nature, but I dont mind- I've gotten used to such things, its the life of a vampire.