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Sacrificial Virgin (Free verse) by EAger to Offend A foil dish is my crown
and fat pools in my ear
casting ants in tow
from the front of the parade
to the rear
and out along the curving frown.
The luscious bird hath finally flown
with her brothers away from here.
The ants were launched to feed the crow
on chocolate and survival fear.
Escaped sacrifice of great reknown
means stones-a-poppin'for this clown.
Up the ladder:
I wanna die
Down the ladder:
Desire
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Posted: October 1, 2003 2:17 AM PDT; Last modified: October 1, 2003 2:17 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.928861 Overall Rank: 9146 Comments:
Though a bit confusing, I liked this. One minor
suggestion; "The luscious bird hath finally flown" Hath seems out of synch with the rest of the poem and, IMO, it reads better with "has." 282 view(s)
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on chocolate and survival fear.
Escaped sacrifice of great reknown
means stones-a-poppin'for this clown."
Great word play!