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Every Second, Waking Eternity (Free verse) by TheVoiceless
Every second waking, This is eternity with eyes wide open, Walking endless paths forever wander, Like a lost spirit looking for a cause, What might be upon the path to stumble? Eyes closed deep in thought, Closest reality of sleep that can be held, Don’t wake these resting eyes, Can’t be disturbed from their dreams; thinking. An exhausted mind travels atop physical depravation, Where will sleepless corruption led, Will the zombies’ feet ever walk into green pastures? Is the rocky road the only to be traveled, Stuck upon the same endless path for all time. How will cells lacking energy perform? Thoughts mummified always missing a subject, What creation can be made of these simplicities? Rest will never come, Round and round the thoughts will go, Like the travelers feet, never having a set direction, A plot never coursed allowing the misleading of mind. Allow sleep to come, for this is a hell no one should live.

Down the ladder: With a pithy stroke

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.6666667
Weighted score: 4.72186
Overall Rank: 11897
Posted: September 29, 2003 3:58 AM PDT; Last modified: September 29, 2003 3:58 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.146.100 | 29-Sep-03/11:12 AM | Reply
"An exhausted mind travels atop physical depravation,
Where will sleepless corruption led"
change to "deprivation", "lead"
"travelers feet"
change to traveler's feet
There are some good parts here, but you can certainly do more with this subject.
[1] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 28-Jun-04/6:18 AM | Reply
A bubbling mess of green left by a 3 year old on the carpet of a close relative.
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