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paper boats (Free verse) by sally6479
it's a memory we all have harbours in the gutter It may have been my grandfather but the memory isn't clear I remember his hands carefully folding the newspaper but I don't recall the folds fold it one way then the other a hundred different combinations but I can't get it right I ask you but you forget aswell the memory is there but it's vague I should ask him but I can't the memory is vague maybe it belongs to someone else

Down the ladder: clandestine momentum

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10122
Posted: September 27, 2003 2:27 PM PDT; Last modified: September 27, 2003 2:27 PM PDT
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Comments:
[2] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.74 | 27-Sep-03/5:23 PM | Reply
I particularly like the first inversion around lines 5 to 6.
[7] tadpole @ 24.55.116.69 | 27-Sep-03/10:18 PM | Reply
I like some of the ideas and the memories that you are talking about, but it kind of falls apart and rambles a little towards the end. I bet you could put it together better.
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