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(Untitled) (Free verse) by LuckyJoe Dance with the wind,
Lead me on like the breeze,
Set to each blade of grass,
Freeze lightly cover heart with dew,
Each beat, crack this thin layer.
Run fingers through hair,
Autumns rain falling without a care,
Soothing with each caress of follicle,
On end stand,
Excited by the touch so inviting.
Internal flame spreading,
Slowly crawling upon ground,
Surrounding obstacles in the way,
Burn forever consuming soul,
Soothing warmth never to be scorn,
Words of beauty sworn truth.
Eat the days one by one,
Never indulge to your fill,
Sit around the table forever talk,
Starve for the dawning day,
Watch the dusking, another one to rest.
Up the ladder:
I Wish
Down the ladder:
In the hushing silence...
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.1538463
Posted: September 7, 2003 11:35 AM PDT; Last modified: September 7, 2003 11:35 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.843529 Overall Rank: 1599 Comments:
[0]
?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.70
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7-Sep-03/2:58 PM
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Reply
Congratulations! It's not often one encounters such a generous expendature of voracity in poetry nowadays. The introspective rythm is simply sublime. Keep up the good work!!!
[n/a]
LuckyJoe @ 216.248.118.208
> ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
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8-Sep-03/8:03 AM
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Reply
Thanks for the comment. I've been working to get better. I'm a spotty writing. Some of its good... and well some of its real shit. Think its like that for most everyone.
Not a bad effort at all, last line lover.7
I like this...it's fresh and alive. You've got a great flow going on here! Bravo~
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