Free verse № 63467
The Waiting Room
'
___
Hello evil muslim | |
Come in and take a seat ___| |___
Enjoy a cup of coffee | |
Relax; put up your feet |___ ___|
I'll just bring up your file | |
To see if thou art just; | |
You don't believe in Jesus!? | |
But the Bible says you must! |___|
___
| | You shan't be going to Heaven
___| |___ Instead you'll rot in Hell
| | As a vile non-believer
|___ ___| We'll break your wicked spell!
| | You'll never taste the splendour
| | Of a Pure and Perfect Place
| | Instead you'll watch your entrails
|___| Landing splat upon your face
___
You won't be very happy | |
When we jump on your best friend ___| |___
Or make you drive that scooter | |
Down a road that has no end |___ ___|
We'll open up your diary | |
And insert a scrambled egg | |
Then we'll make you give a sermon | |
With it trickling down your leg |___|
___
| | Your girlfriend will be watching
___| |___ As you engage a column of ants
| | Whilst suffering the indignity
|___ ___| Of life without your pants
| | People will insult you
| | Every night you'll wet the bed
| | And mummy will not help you
|___| 'cos she's watching Father Ted
___
We'll make you skip your breakfast | |
And you'll have to eat your greens ___| |___
Including vats of brussel sprouts | |
And plates of runner beans |___ ___|
You'll find it quite ironic | |
Though I'm sure you will not laugh | |
When we bake you in a casserole | |
And serve you to a calf |___|
___
| | You'd normally get a hamper
___| |___ Filled with biscuits and God's grace
| | But you'll get sticks of dynamite
|___ ___| Inserted in their place
| | It won't be very pleasant
| | And I'm sure you'll feel quite ill
| | When you're mopping up your giblets
|___| As you foot the cleaning bill
___
And just in from Head Office | |
Our request has been approved! ___| |___
To have your nostrils fisted | |
And your buttocks both removed |___ ___|
I hope you'll learn your lesson | |
As well as have a lovely stay | |
And maybe next time you will listen | |
To what the Bible has to say. |___|
40 comments
Did your church pat you on the back for reciting this poem? did you manage not to have a random bowel movement and get all red in the face because no one likes lethal gas being expelled in a place of holy worship, nor brown gravy dripping on the altar?
--end of jokes meant to insult--
overall 7. consult settle for better ascii crosses.
You are su-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ch a cu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-nt.
Good day sir!
-=Dark_Angel_Has_Gone_Missing=- (Free verse) by Edible Underpants
The "poete" hasn't logged in
Since the twenty-fourth of June
Because he's far too busy smacking
His bruised bell-end with a spoon.
-=Words_From_Dark_Angel=- (Free verse) by Edible Underpants
I am the "poete" whom all men fear.
They panic and run far whene'er I come near.
I'm known to be lewd and I'm prone to take liberties
And tell folk about my odd sexual proclivities.
When I was a youngster I developed a taste
For rubbing warm faeces all o'er my face.
I like phallic objects so much I collect 'em
I lube them and ram them far deep in my rectum.
http://www.phespirit.info/fatherted/soun
Fair enough, but while you're on your soap box painting with your broad brush, why don't you compose something about lovely Muslims who fly jets into skyscrapers, strap bombs to themselves to kill and maim the innocent, and preach that those who do not accept Alah as the one and only God are infidels worthy of death. I mean at least us Christians are willing to allow God to do his work in the after-life...these nuts want to blow up the world so they can lay thier dirty hands on some untapped pussy! I'll tell ya, between you me and the wall.. I don't think there are 72 virgins in all of the western hemisphere! So get to it with those little hands and bang out a draft... I eagerly await your crafty work. -5-
Mr dictionary, get your bible, "The Holy Webster" and stick your face in it. and shut up. ;)
Because someone is not in agreeance with your beliefs, does not make their opinions or emotions "wrong". Such thinking is common of your local TEXAN idiot.
Fraud. Descendant of Judas. You are a worthless pile of shit sir. good day.
Theres a game played often on the streets of East Side San Jose, where one tries to outdo someone in a contest of insults. I am doing something similiar to that in nature.
At the most, i dislike you. Thats all.
"all opinions are valid, even the invalid ones." - your contradicting yourself. Why not skip the candy coating, and just tell me what you think:
Your opinions are worthless, but mine are worth something because im christian.
see? its to the point, and would show that you have a spine.
good day sir.
One should be POLITE though, or its thought that one should be.. and not mention how much they respect anothers religion.
BUT.. this is not a perfect world, and poemranker is not a tribe of sheep, but a tribe of fanged wolves that devour naive innocence with fury. SO.. keep your opinions to yourself.
I give Christianity 10/10.
I give them all 10/10.
I think all the bits of Christianity are nice.
I think your first point about the old testament is wrong. Jesus established and NEW COVINENT with the poeple of the holy land. Example: OT say's an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth NT say's turn the other cheek. However, I do agree with the essence of your second point, namely that condemntation of non believers is part of Christian faith. After all they're the suckers that are going to get the shit kicked out of them in the end times..right? However, judgement in such cases lies in the hands of God..not man. We are instructed to "Love our enemies" and "Forgive those who mock and persecute us in God's name". The ass kicking belongs to God! But I do understand your point and now better understand the piece you have written. I enjoyed the discussion. Thanks......Joe.
Thanks for your comment. I really value your opinion, even if you are a dunce. Which you are. 10!!!!
10
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