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The Waiting Room (Free verse) by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. '
___
Hello evil muslim | |
Come in and take a seat ___| |___
Enjoy a cup of coffee | |
Relax; put up your feet |___ ___|
I'll just bring up your file | |
To see if thou art just; | |
You don't believe in Jesus!? | |
But the Bible says you must! |___|
___
| | You shan't be going to Heaven
___| |___ Instead you'll rot in Hell
| | As a vile non-believer
|___ ___| We'll break your wicked spell!
| | You'll never taste the splendour
| | Of a Pure and Perfect Place
| | Instead you'll watch your entrails
|___| Landing splat upon your face
___
You won't be very happy | |
When we jump on your best friend ___| |___
Or make you drive that scooter | |
Down a road that has no end |___ ___|
We'll open up your diary | |
And insert a scrambled egg | |
Then we'll make you give a sermon | |
With it trickling down your leg |___|
___
| | Your girlfriend will be watching
___| |___ As you engage a column of ants
| | Whilst suffering the indignity
|___ ___| Of life without your pants
| | People will insult you
| | Every night you'll wet the bed
| | And mummy will not help you
|___| 'cos she's watching Father Ted
___
We'll make you skip your breakfast | |
And you'll have to eat your greens ___| |___
Including vats of brussel sprouts | |
And plates of runner beans |___ ___|
You'll find it quite ironic | |
Though I'm sure you will not laugh | |
When we bake you in a casserole | |
And serve you to a calf |___|
___
| | You'd normally get a hamper
___| |___ Filled with biscuits and God's grace
| | But you'll get sticks of dynamite
|___ ___| Inserted in their place
| | It won't be very pleasant
| | And I'm sure you'll feel quite ill
| | When you're mopping up your giblets
|___| As you foot the cleaning bill
___
And just in from Head Office | |
Our request has been approved! ___| |___
To have your nostrils fisted | |
And your buttocks both removed |___ ___|
I hope you'll learn your lesson | |
As well as have a lovely stay | |
And maybe next time you will listen | |
To what the Bible has to say. |___|
Up the ladder:
An Ode to the cat fish head helmet on your penis
Down the ladder:
click
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.8333335
Posted: September 3, 2003 6:28 AM PDT; Last modified: September 5, 2003 7:59 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.827756 Overall Rank: 1635 Comments:
Not too shabby, I especially like the third stanza, the scooter...
I hereby formally withdraw my previous opinions as expressed in the following poems which I posted some time ago. The allegations made in these poems may once have appeared to be true, but now I believe them to be false.
-=Dark_Angel_Has_Gone_Missing=- (Free verse) by Edible Underpants The "poete" hasn't logged in Since the twenty-fourth of June Because he's far too busy smacking His bruised bell-end with a spoon. -=Words_From_Dark_Angel=- (Free verse) by Edible Underpants I am the "poete" whom all men fear. They panic and run far whene'er I come near. I'm known to be lewd and I'm prone to take liberties And tell folk about my odd sexual proclivities. When I was a youngster I developed a taste For rubbing warm faeces all o'er my face. I like phallic objects so much I collect 'em I lube them and ram them far deep in my rectum.
I find you're poem quite offensive. Its really a personal decision to accept Jesus into you're life, as I do. Their are many religions which are all equally valid. Whom are you to say what is right and what is wrong?
Angel,
Fair enough, but while you're on your soap box painting with your broad brush, why don't you compose something about lovely Muslims who fly jets into skyscrapers, strap bombs to themselves to kill and maim the innocent, and preach that those who do not accept Alah as the one and only God are infidels worthy of death. I mean at least us Christians are willing to allow God to do his work in the after-life...these nuts want to blow up the world so they can lay thier dirty hands on some untapped pussy! I'll tell ya, between you me and the wall.. I don't think there are 72 virgins in all of the western hemisphere! So get to it with those little hands and bang out a draft... I eagerly await your crafty work. -5-
No, you must respect all faiths. If people believe in Muslim in there hearts then it is true for them. Are you just blinded by you're own arrogance?
You obviously missed the point of my comment. I was not mocking Islam, although I do in fact think it is a very dangerous religion that presently threatens the world. I found it ironic that DA choose a Muslim as a victim of Christian condemnation. As for your claim that all religions "are right" I really find such thinking to be pure hog-wash. The Holy books of the worlds major religions are completely at odds with eachother both historically and theologically. For example, Christians claim Jesus to be the Christ..the incarnation of God. To muslims such thinking is blasphamy worthy of the most brutal punishment. True Muslims recognize Jesus as a prophit...but that's it. How on earth can both of these points of view be true?? Wake up and face the music!
You can't try and rationalise it. Religion is more of an emotional decision.
I agree that religion is an emotional decision, ?-Dave_Mysterious-?. But I also believe that people who disagree with Christianity are simply feeling wrong emotions. What do you think?
Thiers no such thing as a wrong opinion. Your obviously to stupid too realise you're own stupidity.
There's no such thing as a wrong opinion????? What the fuck are you talking about? Stay away from the open chemical containers..they wreak havoc with your mind!!! You call yourself a Christian then make such a ridiculous statement....Oh there's no such thing as wrong and right..it's all a matter of opinion!! What the hell did Christ die for....divergent opinions or sin? Grow a spine.
I agree with you Joe-Joe. ?-Dave_Mysterious-? needs his head checked. Fancy that? A Christian making a ridiculous statement. What utter tosh.
Opinions are not considered as stated "facts" but are called opinions so as to tell others that it the statement will not be adorned with correct factual data.
Mr dictionary, get your bible, "The Holy Webster" and stick your face in it. and shut up. ;)
Today I accidentally burnt a piece of toast, and as such I was then in possession of a burned piece of toast.
there is so such thing as "wrong emotions." Emotions are not right or wrong, and you are not in any position to deem them as such.
Because someone is not in agreeance with your beliefs, does not make their opinions or emotions "wrong". Such thinking is common of your local TEXAN idiot. Fraud. Descendant of Judas. You are a worthless pile of shit sir. good day.
It's always tricky when it comes to emotions. I respect your opinion because all opinions are valid, even the invalid ones. But whilst I'm happy to allow people the freedom to feel whatever emotions they may experience, let's not get carried away on some sort of emotional rollercoaster ride of discovery. Because that can only lead to what I call the "anti-emotion". It's not a danger we Christians have to worry about because we can put our trust in Christ. But for non-christians, the only emotions felt are the emotions of hate. These are wrong emotions and are the main reason why non-christians keep making mistakes.
Hate? dark, hate implies that i intensly feel something for you, which i dont. I just like arguing with you.
Theres a game played often on the streets of East Side San Jose, where one tries to outdo someone in a contest of insults. I am doing something similiar to that in nature. At the most, i dislike you. Thats all. "all opinions are valid, even the invalid ones." - your contradicting yourself. Why not skip the candy coating, and just tell me what you think: Your opinions are worthless, but mine are worth something because im christian. see? its to the point, and would show that you have a spine. good day sir.
Whenever I think we've reached the limits of your stupidity you say something that sends you plummeting yet further into the sluggish depths of dunceland.
Are you serious? You mean, "If people believe in (Islam) in (their) hearts then it is true (?) for them. Are you just blinded by (your) own arrogance?" I am sure that this poem is intended to be silly and offensive- DA is talented in making people who stand up for the "right" thing look ridiculous (see your above typos, which I hope were intended to push on the comedic plot that exists in DA's comment sections).
No one HAS to respect ANYTHING. least of all, a persons faith.
One should be POLITE though, or its thought that one should be.. and not mention how much they respect anothers religion. BUT.. this is not a perfect world, and poemranker is not a tribe of sheep, but a tribe of fanged wolves that devour naive innocence with fury. SO.. keep your opinions to yourself.
Since this piece is merely a poetic reflection of Christian values, your score of 5/10 means you give Christianity 5/10.
I give Christianity 10/10.
All right DA is this the new math they were talking about in 1967? I find it interesting that give you give Christianity such high scores then write a poem that focuses on Christian condemnation of a Muslim. If you were setting out to "reflect Christian values" you should have focused on mercy, justice, love, and forgivness for these abound in the Christian faith. Maybe we have more in common than you think because I too score the faith a perfect 10 out of 10. Peace.
Why should I write about those Christian values? Do you think some Christian values are more true than others? I think all Christian values are equally valid and equally deserving of poetic reflection. You might give mercy, justice and love a 10/10, but you give the condemnation of muslims only 5/10.
I give them all 10/10.
I understand what you say DA...but Jesus came to heal not to condem. Maybe we're getting into semantics...do you get my point?
no
Don't understand the difference between giving sight to the blind and ripping their fucking eyes out?. Can't quite seperate instruction from condemnation? Condemnation is old testiment stuff. Read your Bible and you'll understand.
Is the Old Testament just a load of Old Cobblers, then? If you're a Christian then you must think it's the Word of God. Also, since you must believe there is only one God, and since you must worship Jesu, you must believe that Jesu is God. Therefore, the Old Testament is the Word of Jesu. Moreover, regardless of what you think about the Old Testament, you must believe that Jesu endorses the eternal damnation of those peasants who refuse to be saved. So Jesu does condemn people as well as indiscriminately heal them. Or are you so weak that you feel you can keep the nice bits of Christianity and leave out the bloated bits?
I think all the bits of Christianity are nice.
DA,
I think your first point about the old testament is wrong. Jesus established and NEW COVINENT with the poeple of the holy land. Example: OT say's an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth NT say's turn the other cheek. However, I do agree with the essence of your second point, namely that condemntation of non believers is part of Christian faith. After all they're the suckers that are going to get the shit kicked out of them in the end times..right? However, judgement in such cases lies in the hands of God..not man. We are instructed to "Love our enemies" and "Forgive those who mock and persecute us in God's name". The ass kicking belongs to God! But I do understand your point and now better understand the piece you have written. I enjoyed the discussion. Thanks......Joe.
Joe-joe,
Thanks for your comment. I really value your opinion, even if you are a dunce. Which you are. 10!!!!
IN THAT CASE: ZERO. Good day sir.
I dunno, I'd like to give it a ten, but Jesus kinda messed up the dismount so 9/10 for the Christers.
This is good. While it has obviously offended some, no one can deny that it's a good poem. ^_^
Frisky, are we? Well we shall see. Until then i will concede. This is some of your finest. Atleast in the last nine months. Congratulations. I have to go to Tahoe for a spell, see you in a couple of days. 10.
good poem,
10
Fantastic. Heh, Father Ted. On a more serious note, Darling, I missed you! Let's never be apart again!
ridiculous. christian.
GOod Shieet!!!
best part about this is envisioning the graphic details of you hovering over your keyboard elaborating the little crosses... you cute lil devil you.
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Did your church pat you on the back for reciting this poem? did you manage not to have a random bowel movement and get all red in the face because no one likes lethal gas being expelled in a place of holy worship, nor brown gravy dripping on the altar?
--end of jokes meant to insult--
overall 7. consult settle for better ascii crosses.
You are su-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ch a cu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-nt.
Good day sir!