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walk out (Free verse) by NNirvana13666 Enter my world of unstructured confusion
Bask in my frustration
I have yet to see the person I so devotedly worked to be
Worship the air I breathe
Fall into this hellish hypnosis and die the moment you choose to leave
The world is willing to die for the death of a nation
Never willing to end the suffering of the mind
Patriotic roars overpower liberal chants
Life is a path taken for granted by man
Chances passed up in the past
Silenced by the political iron fist of mayhem
Swift is the ray of light that blinds
Superpower let us free
Stop zealously controlling our lives
Up the ladder:
Jack Frost
Down the ladder:
Black & White
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.428571
Posted: August 21, 2003 12:38 PM PDT; Last modified: August 21, 2003 12:38 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.1152606 Overall Rank: 5994 Comments:
[7]
horus8 @ 24.126.113.154
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21-Aug-03/1:25 PM
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Reply
I would end at controlling, and work on shaping your structures.
Worship the air I breathe
just to inform you, your suffocating.. and your breath stinks, i dont worship such bad smelling oxygen. heres a 6
"Enter my world of unstructured poetry"
What I don't understand is how you can even try and criticize my writing because of how it is written and not for its content, you know it is good. I mean look at the crap that gets posted here. I know what well structured poems look like but why try and follow a standard perspective of expression when the whole point of expression is individuality?
13666--yeah there's a lot of crap here. just like everywhere. and there's good stuff too. as for yours being good? i'd call it self-servingly nascent.
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