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Memory (Free verse) by Hostileintent
If we all were to die today, and come back some other way, What would all those bastards say? 'Welcome back.We've missed you'- NAY! Why is everybody so black and white? What at all happened to those shining knights, Those worshipped men, that rode day and night, Just to fight for our common right. Théy were men- worshipped- looked upon, People noticed when théy were gone, For they were ones, for whom the bell would gong. Don't we all just love our violence? But does this not force a common silence, As people will be so full of compliance, People love what people fear,and people love a compliance to violence. So I ask you again, about that day, About that day you fade away, Shall your body fade into decay, Or shall Ordinary memory, at last stay? Some of them live for years and years, Their praise is passed from ear to ear, Even those who have murdered and dismembered, Those infamous evils, have théírs remembered. So does is matter if we walk with Damien? Or must we talk of those slain for us, But in the end, only one thing's certain, Be sure death's curtain shall be drawn, As is has, since the dawn.

Up the ladder: mental collides
Down the ladder: My Loss

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 105
.. 33
.. 20
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.882353
Weighted score: 6.8817215
Overall Rank: 258
Posted: August 8, 2003 2:37 PM PDT; Last modified: August 8, 2003 2:37 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.161.55 | 8-Aug-03/6:07 PM | Reply
well written. 8
[10] sir_heff @ 65.172.117.1 | 14-Aug-03/11:34 AM | Reply
I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza.
good message
[10] sir_heff @ 65.172.117.1 | 14-Aug-03/11:35 AM | Reply
I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza.
good message 10
[10] sir_heff @ 65.172.117.1 | 14-Aug-03/11:35 AM | Reply
I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza.
good message 10
[7] Caducus @ 195.92.168.164 | 14-Aug-03/12:58 PM | Reply
It holds together well but some of the rhymes (ie the bell that gongs) and: People love what people fear,and people love a compliance to violence, tend to over jam the tart a little. The view of the knight as a forgone protagonist of moral virtue works well against the ignorance of todays society your getting at and I think this poem would be generally revered by the majority as a good satire on present times, in a literary audience you fall in to my category, some will love it and some will dissect the shit out of it. Some poems I write for instance are more traditional in the poetic sense, but theres lots of my stuff (mainly death or love poems) which are pretty accessible. What I guess I am saying is I think poems such as these are better to be understood than to be decoded for there meaning.

--------7
[9] Sir.Psycho.Sexy @ 159.134.55.55 | 14-Aug-03/3:49 PM | Reply
i like your poetry in general.it appeals to me, i suppose i can say we are in the same boat. the last three stanzas are really powerful. 9
[8] eliastemplar @ 216.147.132.9 | 15-Aug-03/12:12 PM | Reply
I like this one
I hope you don't die

I hope you see the grinning monkey
That's hiding on your back

Tell him to fuck off
He's got the wrong guy

(8)

[0] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 18-Aug-03/1:00 PM | Reply
hostile,
you start off well enough, with a clip-cloppity rhythm and rhyme--but then somebody hobbled your horse.

also, can you show me a fresh treatment of this theme?

no vote yet.
[0] deleted user @ 85.210.210.92 | 16-Jan-07/6:03 PM | Reply
TRASH
278 view(s)




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