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Puerto Rican Tequila (Free verse) by Don-Quixote silent screams escape
wrinkled parched lips
curled in a grimace
of pain
liquid drips from
the tequila bottle
to numb the mental process
i now posses the cure
fuel to lure the flame
of joy, yet now i cry
still, unable to get my fill
smoke clouds my vision
i don't wish to see again
that static TV
roaring advertisements from
greedy whores that drool
for my recycled green paper
the methamphetamine vapor
curls from the glass pipe
into the highway of blood vessels
one way road to the CPU
rewire and amp the programming
the radio sings
my techno hell opera
attempting to grasp the cosmic
vanity of humanity
broken tiles, my incomplete puzzle
I'm left a rotten corpse
my skulls gray flesh sizzles
its the cannibals barbecue
Up the ladder:
Robotic Plague
Down the ladder:
fallen love
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Posted: August 5, 2003 4:22 PM PDT; Last modified: August 5, 2003 4:22 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9403987 Overall Rank: 9052 Comments:
[6]
Bachus @ 24.126.113.154
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6-Aug-03/2:03 AM
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Reply
The last stanza fails to surmise the gist of your message. Perhaps, close with another observation on the drink that you're writing about.
[n/a]
DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.160.11
> Bachus
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6-Aug-03/10:02 AM
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Reply
your right... i just might seriously consider trying that suggestion.. ill see what i come up with.
I grimace in pain at the taste of tequila too. I think this gets good at "i don't wish to see again", but the preceding lines need some rethinking, though they have their good parts. Also, need apostrophes "skull's gray flesh" and "cannibals' barbecue"
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