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In Gold Leaf (Free verse) by bearhead
In Christian Country Crosses are borne. Old is resurrected as new, And bibles bear the owner's name In gold leaf embossed with The glory that is the Lord; Sermons speak of sin, One must tithe the soul. Compunction is the order of the day; Seated in the pews Satan is staring at creeds Crucified each day by vanity.

Up the ladder: The French Woman
Down the ladder: American Eden

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.8
Weighted score: 4.9761596
Overall Rank: 8331
Posted: August 3, 2003 8:49 AM PDT; Last modified: August 3, 2003 8:49 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] richa @ 81.86.232.193 | 3-Aug-03/11:23 AM | Reply
'one must tithe the soul' I'm sure I'd agree if I knew what it meant.
Quite a lot packed in here, quite machiavellian in intent.
Not sure the poem justifies its conclusions fully though.
[3] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 3-Aug-03/2:04 PM | Reply
That went over like a Led Zepplin.
[8] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.144.59 | 4-Aug-03/9:40 AM | Reply
Shouldn't it say w/ "owners' names". I like the ending.
[6] JohnnyRocker @ 170.224.224.123 | 21-Apr-04/8:51 PM | Reply
the whole Church isn't warped. :)
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.154.19.210 > JohnnyRocker | 22-Apr-04/2:21 AM | Reply
Any institution symbolised by a dead guy nailed to two planks of wood has got to be warped. Not to mention bulgingly stupid. -10-
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.155.132 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 22-Apr-04/3:12 AM | Reply
He's only pretend-dead.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.154.19.210 > zodiac | 22-Apr-04/6:18 AM | Reply
The crucifixtion of Jesu marked His transition from a 14th level cleric to an 18th level spirit mage. Following the Resurrection, those that saw Jesu said He had changed; Mary, who met Jesu at the tomb, at first mistook Him for the gardener (18th level spirit mages are often confused with gardeners because their primary weapon is Shatner's Scythe of Destruction). It was only when He had spoken her name that she realised it was Jesu.

John 20, 15: Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.

Moreover, as an 18th level spirit mage, Jesu had acquired several new special moves. He was able to walk through walls:

John 20, 19: Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.

He could cast the invisibility spell:

Luke 24, 30-31: And it came to pass, as he sat at meat with them, he took bread, and blessed it, and brake, and gave to them. And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight.

And He had an in-built napkin facility, thereby allowing Him to dispense with external napkin units:

John 20, 6-7: Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie, And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself.
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.155.161 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 22-Apr-04/6:32 AM | Reply
The question: whether Jesus, a 14th level cleric with (at the very least) an Amulet of +20 Pain Endurance, really died or just pretended to die.
The answer: No. It was pretend. Or, at any rate, it was given that he could Auto-Revivify within 31 hours, so the entire act was more like, say, holding one's breath for an incredibly long time than dying.
[n/a] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 22-Apr-04/3:51 AM | Reply
And my favorite: "The last Christian died on the cross"

Thanks
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