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Mind Puddle (Free verse) by justjay
Dark. Color. Contrast. Blurring blackness. Heart beating against my shirt. Louder then a sledge hammer. Mind Puddle Oozing out of my head. To the dirty floor. I try to pick it up, but it slides through my fingers. I stare. Stepped on; Splashed. On my pants, shoes, cloths. I can feel it, but no control. I watch as it runs. Runs along cracks and creases. Lost. Gone where I can't see Beyond touch. Beyond feeling. Beyond control.

Up the ladder: first letter level
Down the ladder: Regre

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5750
Posted: August 2, 2003 12:57 PM PDT; Last modified: August 17, 2003 7:04 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] SupremeDreamer @ 66.81.150.216 | 2-Aug-03/1:57 PM | Reply
cloths or clothes? take your pick. dont worry, i make a million spelling mistakes in a day. well done, i enjoyed reading it. 8
[8] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.145.192 | 2-Aug-03/7:25 PM | Reply
Interesting. The periods seem a little arbitrary.
[n/a] justjay @ 138.89.33.42 | 2-Aug-03/9:09 PM | Reply
i specifically put the periods in. i want pauses at the ends of the sentence. i personally wanted to slow down the reader. make them think about what they were reading. i never noticed you could only put 3 poems a week so i didn't even start with my personal favorite poems. but wait till next week.
[7] Lifeboatman @ 202.78.97.13 | 17-Aug-03/8:03 PM | Reply
good.. 7
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