DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Mind Puddle

Member since 2003 · Posted 2 Aug 2003 · Edited 17 Aug 2003 · 4 comments

Dark. Color. Contrast. Blurring blackness. Heart beating against my shirt. Louder then a sledge hammer. Mind Puddle Oozing out of my head. To the dirty floor. I try to pick it up, but it slides through my fingers. I stare. Stepped on; Splashed. On my pants, shoes, cloths. I can feel it, but no control. I watch as it runs. Runs along cracks and creases. Lost. Gone where I can't see Beyond touch. Beyond feeling. Beyond control.

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mean 6.00 weighted 5.12 rank 5747 views 165 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

4 comments

[8] SupremeDreamer 2-Aug-03/1:57 PM Reply

cloths or clothes? take your pick. dont worry, i make a million spelling mistakes in a day. well done, i enjoyed reading it. 8

[8] http://mulberryfairy 2-Aug-03/7:25 PM Reply

Interesting. The periods seem a little arbitrary.

[n/a] justjay 2-Aug-03/9:09 PM Reply

i specifically put the periods in. i want pauses at the ends of the sentence. i personally wanted to slow down the reader. make them think about what they were reading. i never noticed you could only put 3 poems a week so i didn't even start with my personal favorite poems. but wait till next week.

[7] Lifeboatman 17-Aug-03/8:03 PM Reply

good.. 7