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Infection (Free verse) by nocturnalism Once upone a poon
The yeasty beastys grewn
Baking bread was her delight
While customers came for fresh loaves in the night
No shower
Leaves a taste of Sweet anâ sour
A douche all problems fixed
Until the next ride infectionix
Up the ladder:
Just let me bee
Down the ladder:
something
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.142857
Posted: July 28, 2003 11:04 PM PDT; Last modified: July 28, 2003 11:04 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.769479 Overall Rank: 11397 Comments:
[6]
<{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154
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28-Jul-03/11:54 PM
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Reply
The reason why god gave men the hunter's nose.
cmon..i got the idea but you could of had more imagination with the presentation, it left me with a sensation of emptiness..5.
Once apon a midnight moon
came a baker a night walker salt shaker, wavin her cheeks hasnt showered in two weeks I watched my friend pay 30 bucks thrown away he pressed his lips against her vertical smile he ended up in a pool of bile puking sour dough There.. not the best rewrite, but i think it tops your piece nevertheless. ;)
I like the first three lines, kind of nonsense poem come dialect poem.
the fourth line upsets the rhythm though. Nice to see a heavy metal fan not use politicised and loaded terms and build something out of simple language 156 view(s)
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