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Spider (Free verse) by DreamerSupreme
The spider crawls
Off my cold walls
Eight eyes staring
At my shriveled body
Shriveled it is, laying here
So lonely
The sun, burning through the skin
Waiting for the boil to explode
And clean my sin
Two steps forward, where my hell
Begins
Crossed arms, standing over the hallway
The angel cries, all it has tried
To save me, to make me see..
Failed
Cannot be the monster
Since I am the spider
Toying with the fly
And the fly
Cannot cry
Its all dry
Blood and moisture
Sucked out
From within.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9103527
Overall Rank: 9664
Posted: July 22, 2003 7:24 PM PDT; Last modified: July 22, 2003 7:24 PM PDT
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Comments:
244 view(s)
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The angel cries, all it has tried
to make me see..To save me,
Failed".
Yes, very good. Find your subjects and explore them intigrating yourself, so it becomes organic and not self absorbed. I would suggest strengthening your vocabulary and grammar next, but you got the right idea. writing every day on poemranker will teach you that. 7.