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oh god please help me (Free verse) by crwncka1
No one is there still, as I spiral down forever searching, but never finding the hole though, this endless house of mirrors of my mind. But still I try on as my soul dies for escape, out of this hell of confusion, but still everywhere and anywhere I look, all I see is my changing reflection. For no one is there for me still, it can't always be like this, I hear forever echoing though my head, but their simply appears to be, no way out for me to see clear, though my hell I've created, of stained colored glass mirrors, that lie within the giant cathedral, that is the glory of my minds own home. It is only my refection, that is real in my minds eye, its the only constant change, in this pinball like machine of misery, that is the created thoughts of my mind. In my isolation I've found my true love, that my mind has created just for me, so my heart of hearts may have love. But my soul is still trapped inside myself, as something has gone terribly wrong, the devil has played one trick to many, in this forever maze of mirrors, that is all of my mind sees so clearly.

Up the ladder: The Contract (2nd draft)
Down the ladder: the birth of venus

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Weighted score: 4.865529
Overall Rank: 10346
Posted: July 7, 2003 9:39 AM PDT; Last modified: July 7, 2003 9:39 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 7-Jul-03/12:46 PM | Reply
Yes, I often find myself doing the same thing in my closet with a toothbrush in me mums pink knickers.

"But my soul is still trapped inside myself" This line I believe really ups the stakes in life... I must admit. Having our own souls trapped inside our own bodys during our lives? It's preposterous and down right frightening. Especially, when we've become so accustumed to carrying them around under our hats.
[2] MrsGretchen @ 12.220.225.71 | 7-Jul-03/1:05 PM | Reply
No comment.
[n/a] JoyLuck @ 68.75.28.126 | 7-Jul-03/6:30 PM | Reply
"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord? My ass. Nyah, haha, haha, haha, ENOUGH!! "
[6] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.168.51 | 7-Jul-03/7:55 PM | Reply
"It is only my refection" reflection
"but their simply appears to be," their should be There

Nice poem, though its a little confusing, you need to be more descriptive. You have alot to work on, but you have potential. Blessed with 6
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