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A Promise (Free verse) by Elvish Jade I sit here,
debating,
whether or not
to pick it up
I want to...
it's so shiny
and beautiful
and sharp
It's beauty makes a promise
a promise of relief
a promise of pain
a promise of control
Its like it calls to me
telling me I want to, need to
even though I've been told
to say away from it
I know I shouldn't
but I want to
oh so bad
I want to
I'll just hold it
I tell myself
maybe then
the urge will go away
So I do
I pick it up
But if anything
the urge is stronger
Maybe if I just hold it closer
against my wrist
that'll be enough
to make the urge stop
Once again, it just gets stronger
Maybe if I just pull it
against my wrist
without pressing down
the urge will go away
Again, it doesn't, just gets stronger
If it's that stong
maybe I should just give in, I think
as I feel the wonderful pain
this beautiful promise makes
Up the ladder:
Over Wait
Down the ladder:
1
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Posted: June 25, 2003 4:55 PM PDT; Last modified: June 25, 2003 4:55 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.5965877 Overall Rank: 12551 Comments:
[0]
<{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154
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25-Jun-03/7:44 PM
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Reply
Please do both wrists with vertical cuts. Preferably two for each wrist and six inches long a centimeter appart angling in toward one another centered over the artery. Use a new straight razor to insure the maximum sharpness available for the deepest cut. And take a blood thinner like aspirin an hour before. Carry on.
after reading your first few lines
i debated on contuing to read but i went against better judgement and kept on reading and wow i was amazed i felt the urge while reading your shit to cut my own wrists thansk a lot psycho
Yes, I am a psycho. If you did not wish to read the rest, then you should not have.
eh, it's deep. ... how long did it take you to write that? ..?
Thanks...I don't remember exactly but I think about 5 minutes or so. When I sit down and write I usually finish the poem right away and rarely change anything about it.
Not bad my boy but one cannot help mourning the use of 'beautiful' , you should only use this word as an introduction or crescendo or else overusing it makes it a tad cliched.
Maybe if I just pull it against my wrist without pressing down the urge will go away The stanza above is your strongest. Thank you for obliging me with your effort. My vote: 6 Good day Sir
Thank you very much for your vote. I'll try and remember about the 'beautiful' thing...unfortunately sometimes my mind gets stuck on one word. Definitely need to work on that.
(BTW- I'm a she lol) 148 view(s)
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