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A Promise (Free verse) by Elvish Jade

I sit here, debating, whether or not to pick it up I want to... it's so shiny and beautiful and sharp It's beauty makes a promise a promise of relief a promise of pain a promise of control Its like it calls to me telling me I want to, need to even though I've been told to say away from it I know I shouldn't but I want to oh so bad I want to I'll just hold it I tell myself maybe then the urge will go away So I do I pick it up But if anything the urge is stronger Maybe if I just hold it closer against my wrist that'll be enough to make the urge stop Once again, it just gets stronger Maybe if I just pull it against my wrist without pressing down the urge will go away Again, it doesn't, just gets stronger If it's that stong maybe I should just give in, I think as I feel the wonderful pain this beautiful promise makes

Mr Pig (again) 26-Jun-03/1:41 PM
Not bad my boy but one cannot help mourning the use of 'beautiful' , you should only use this word as an introduction or crescendo or else overusing it makes it a tad cliched.

Maybe if I just pull it
against my wrist
without pressing down
the urge will go away

The stanza above is your strongest.

Thank you for obliging me with your effort.

My vote: 6

Good day Sir




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