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All A Mistake (Free verse) by Alyssa91
I went on vacation, bags in hand and my cancer donation I didn't know then what could have happened I didn't see that one terrible bend. Now this day i will lay thinking in a grave shrinking, and rethinking that night on my vacation with my cancer donation It was almost as if I was meant to die with my family left to cry. Wishing i was still around to push the kids on the merry go round Buts its all changed now and everyone now asks "how?" When that car smacked in to the railing post I almost saw my own ghost rising up and taking me dead But it isn't the dread i saw in my eyes it was the fear i saw in your eyes And now it's all a mistake

Up the ladder: Z higher of arts

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.9166665
Weighted score: 5.670137
Overall Rank: 2068
Posted: May 21, 2003 5:32 AM PDT; Last modified: May 21, 2003 5:32 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 21-May-03/5:36 AM | Reply
Beautiful! Simply beautiful! Normally I would have said this poeme was crap, but the sheer depth of emotion completely obviates all the other criteria!! 11/10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[5] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 21-May-03/6:13 AM | Reply
Airbag barfbag.
[5] Robert K Foster @ 209.68.66.76 | 21-May-03/10:42 AM | Reply
an odd mix of trite and confusion. the cancer donation has me wondering.
[9] Felzpoet @ 68.173.204.214 | 21-May-03/3:30 PM | Reply
wow thts really emotional cant even describe
i am truly impressed
[9] deleted user @ 162.83.138.246 | 21-May-03/6:19 PM | Reply
NIce job. This would work as a song with the second stanza being the chorus. (9)
165 view(s)




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