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all in my head (Free verse) by calilegzzz When you close your eyes
Does it hurt?
Can you feel the memories?
They flood my mind
Fill my soul,
The depths of which you will never know
You touch my lips,
Kiss my face
Every night I lay awake
You sneak a smile
A knowing look
As you hold me close, I forget my pain
You wipe my tears
You warm my hands
You shelter me from the falling rain
I see it so clear
Every touch I can feel
Within my head it all seems real
I open my eyes
And the tears start to fall
The truth of it is
You weren't here at all
So tell me,
When you close your eyes,
Does it hurt?
Up the ladder:
Don't End it Again
Down the ladder:
The nature of Nuture
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.6
Posted: April 1, 2003 4:55 PM PST; Last modified: April 1, 2003 4:55 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.9523187 Overall Rank: 8934 Comments:
[9]
deleted user @ 203.189.250.33
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2-Apr-03/1:26 AM
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Reply
Wonderful poem..keep up the good work..
[n/a]
calilegzzz @ 65.103.142.64
> deleted user
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14-Apr-03/2:15 AM
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Reply
thank you for your kind words, I am always nervours when any of my poems go public, (fear of rejection) (teeheehee) anyway thank you!
Basic as hell but I liked the way you worked the theme and its quite grand
yea, I am afraid i am stuck in basic, i am working on it though, thank you for the feed back.
This is a brown sticky nappy. 3
What the hell is brown sticky nappy?
Give this a twist towards the end, dedicate it to your mother rather than someperson we'll never really know about. If you want to keep the subject the same then it needs more complexity and slightly less cliche. I quite like the opener/concluder.
thank you for the feed back, I enjoy when someone makes me look at my stuff and do a little thinking.
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