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To You (Please Critique and comment) (Free verse) by TrulyUnique0642 When I close my eyes
I see you.
I think of you late at night,
I dream about you when I am sleeping.
Every time I see you,
I want to tell you how I feel,
I am at a loss for words
I get so nervous.
It scares me to think of you with someone else, with her.
I remember what we had
All I can do is cry,
And think about how much I love you.
Up the ladder:
Suicidal thoughts
Down the ladder:
crush
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Posted: March 8, 2003 6:16 PM PST; Last modified: March 8, 2003 6:16 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.865529 Overall Rank: 10319 Comments:
[3]
Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129
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8-Mar-03/7:27 PM
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Reply
I can stand the thought of mine being with another girl... I want him to. We each wasted such a valuable time of our lives. Stop crying. I mean, it won't help. Once you figure out what you want then you can cry. Just keep looking. Stop focusing on one person
[n/a]
TrulyUnique0642 @ 67.24.137.188
> Freethinker1602
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9-Mar-03/3:40 PM
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Reply
Hey thanks for the advice, and by the way, i'm over him!! That's a fairly old poem.
Poorly written and dull. You probably smell.
I know the feeling.
But you need something more. Something more than a simple mapping of your current emotional state. Something slightly more specific.
Wow! You truly are unique! Ace poeme, by the way!
Do I detect sarcasm it's so hard to tell with darky...
It scares me more to think of me with you.
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