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To You (Please Critique and comment) (Free verse) by TrulyUnique0642
When I close my eyes I see you. I think of you late at night, I dream about you when I am sleeping. Every time I see you, I want to tell you how I feel, I am at a loss for words I get so nervous. It scares me to think of you with someone else, with her. I remember what we had All I can do is cry, And think about how much I love you.

Up the ladder: Suicidal thoughts
Down the ladder: crush

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Weighted score: 4.865529
Overall Rank: 10319
Posted: March 8, 2003 6:16 PM PST; Last modified: March 8, 2003 6:16 PM PST
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Comments:
[3] Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129 | 8-Mar-03/7:27 PM | Reply
I can stand the thought of mine being with another girl... I want him to. We each wasted such a valuable time of our lives. Stop crying. I mean, it won't help. Once you figure out what you want then you can cry. Just keep looking. Stop focusing on one person
[n/a] TrulyUnique0642 @ 67.24.137.188 > Freethinker1602 | 9-Mar-03/3:40 PM | Reply
Hey thanks for the advice, and by the way, i'm over him!! That's a fairly old poem.
[0] razorgrin @ 198.164.188.66 | 8-Mar-03/7:34 PM | Reply
Poorly written and dull. You probably smell.
[5] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 | 8-Mar-03/8:39 PM | Reply
I know the feeling.
But you need something more.
Something more than a simple mapping of your current emotional state.
Something slightly more specific.

[10] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.98 | 9-Mar-03/6:25 AM | Reply
Wow! You truly are unique! Ace poeme, by the way!
Do I detect sarcasm it's so hard to tell with darky...
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 9-Mar-03/11:23 AM | Reply
It scares me more to think of me with you.
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