poemranker ::Awakened by temptalia

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Free verse № 42665

Awakened

Member since 2002 · Posted 5 Mar 2003 · 4 comments

The wind pushes the hard rain into my face, blurring my vision and chilling me to the bone but my feet thud against the surface with a purpose the lightning-quick pain that thrums through my nerves every time I connect with the pavement coexists with the pleasure I find outrunning the dangerous recesses of my mind as I force myself to acknowledge that there's no sweetheart around the bend waiting for a soft denial, a quiet murmur of submission freedom smells warm and welcoming and the light blooms as the sky opens up to swallow me whole.

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mean 6.82 weighted 5.91 rank 1435 views 171 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

4 comments

[10] Jeremi B. Handrinos 5-Mar-03/8:08 PM Reply
Fuck. 10.
[10] INTRANSIT 28-Apr-03/6:56 PM Reply
Great transition.
[n/a] <~> 28-Apr-03/8:29 PM Reply
well, there's something about the sky swallowing you whole which betrays the pain you fight through. being swallowed, submitting,--you see what i mean? i feel like you are forged by will, and then you're bait on a hook at the end.

this is strong writing. but i want a stronger end.

(am i ever satisfied?)
[5] Felzpoet 24-May-03/5:32 PM Reply
i can relate this world can be quite much for one to handle sometimes