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Ode to Chicken Kiev (Free verse) by bunniesnangels
His herbed heart with dagger pierc'd His oily life's blood drains away He settles back with gurgled sigh Into his saucy-riced array I tease him into tattered bits Devouring with a chilling hunch That here's repast I'll soon regret Tomorrow I shall bring my lunch.

Up the ladder: Where Time and Space End
Down the ladder: forgiveness

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.4
Weighted score: 5.0476813
Overall Rank: 6847
Posted: February 26, 2003 12:31 PM PST; Last modified: February 26, 2003 12:31 PM PST
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Comments:
[4] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 | 26-Feb-03/1:13 PM | Reply
* 4 large chicken half-breasts
* 4 ounces butter, softened
* Grated zest and juice of 1 lemon
* 2 tablesponos fresh tarragon, chopped
* Salt to taste
* Pepper to taste
* 1 large egg
* 4 ounces dry white bread crumbs

Cream the butter in a bowl with the lemon rind and tarragon. Season to taste with salt, pepper and lemon juice. Shape butter into a rectangular block, wrap in plastic and leave in freezer to set solidly.

Peel away chicken skin and flatten between sheets of plastic film, taking great care not to make any holes in the meat.

Cut the hard butter into 4 pieces and place each in the center of the chicken fillet. Make sure the piece of butter isn't too large to be completely enclosed within the fillet. Fold the edges neatly and roll the fillet up tightly. Secure with fine string.

Beat egg lightly and coat the chicken before coating evenly with bread crumbs, pressing them in thoroughly. Leave in refrigerator or freezer util coating has set.

Heat oil in a deep fryer or pan to 375F. Fry the chicken without crowding pan and lowering temperature, until golden brown. Do not allow the oil to get too hot, or the chicken will brown before it is cooked inside.

Drain on absorbent paper.

Serve with borscht and mushrooms baked in sour cream sauce.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > Lord Ganus | 26-Feb-03/3:59 PM | Reply
Ass Casserole

* 1 ass
* 1 casserole

Insert ass into casserole. Serve with chilled wine.
[4] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 26-Feb-03/4:21 PM | Reply
Nut casserole makes a festive dish for holiday entertaining.
Serves two (one if you're really hungry)
Ingredients:
2 nuts
1 fresh casserole

While casserole is still hot, insert nuts, reserving one, on the left.
Cover and put in freezer until room temperature.
Insert reserve nut on the right.

Serve with a good Rhone valley Shaftonnay.
[4] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 26-Feb-03/4:24 PM | Reply
For some reason I only like this when it's my own ass.
[10] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.42 | 26-Feb-03/1:19 PM | Reply
Mighty good. Ganus, what's with the cooking binge? All I can do is make desserts.
[4] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 > razorgrin | 26-Feb-03/3:41 PM | Reply
Growing up I was always given the impression that it was difficult to cook anything very elaborate. It turns out this is bullshit. Even with my busy schedule I can cook almost anything you can think of in a not unreasonable amount of time. The trick is to view cooking time as recreational. You can make a broiled steak with bernaise sauce (unbelievably good) in 45 minutes (although I suppose not many people can eat that sort of thing every day).
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > Lord Ganus | 26-Feb-03/3:45 PM | Reply
I don't think I could view cooking time as recreational unless I was tossing off into a convenient bun.
[4] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 26-Feb-03/3:49 PM | Reply
It also gets you laid. (period)
[n/a] Nanshe @ 67.84.174.185 > Lord Ganus | 26-Feb-03/5:44 PM | Reply
I see you have a fixation with the FAT. Perhaps you might reconsider your menu, before the gout sets in?
[n/a] Jeremi @ 68.14.26.239 > Nanshe | 27-Feb-03/8:54 AM | Reply
I eat fat because nobody else can. I alone can eat whatever I want whenever I want. I can go out and buy a pint of icecream, eat it, I could do that for a week and still look emaciated. The whole point of being young is doing things you can't do when you're old, like this.
[4] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 > razorgrin | 26-Feb-03/3:48 PM | Reply
Other reason: food is delicious, nobody my age can cook for shit and thus it makes me better than them, there is vast conspiracy between restaurants, tv-dinner and snack food companies to convince people that it is hard to cook, because the only grocery store near me doesn't sell the sort of hardcore snack foods that are best (they do have excellent produce though). And dessert, truly is the best. I should make a pecan pie. Now. Fuck homework.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > Lord Ganus | 26-Feb-03/3:58 PM | Reply
Pecans can give you the diabetes.
[4] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 26-Feb-03/3:59 PM | Reply
A LIFE WITHOUT PECANS WOULD BE A LIFE WORSE THAN A LIFE WORSE THAN DIABETES. How about black walnuts?
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > Lord Ganus | 26-Feb-03/4:02 PM | Reply
Black walnuts were the scourge of the seas in the fourteenth century.
[4] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 26-Feb-03/4:15 PM | Reply
Sigh but I have but two of mine own
[8] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 26-Feb-03/1:25 PM | Reply
Quite humorus.
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