DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

forgiveness

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Mar 2003 · 4 comments

We cried together Our tears became one when we sat on that cold linoleum floor. The pink tiles stayed in my mind. Mildew from over the years had grown and attacked. No words were spoken but we relived all our mistakes. When I blew you off and you spread the rumors. We forgave each other Without an apology. Spiderwebs filled the corners dead bugs had met their doom. I reached for your hand and you didn't pull away. It was more than enough. Everytime I walk in there I smell your perfume I see your glistening green eyes I hear our sobs in sync. I remember the day you died.

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5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

4 comments

[n/a] TrulyUnique0642 8-Mar-03/6:27 PM Reply

i think the way this poem kinda leaves you hangin is wierd, but i think i like it!!

[6] <{Baba^Yaga}> 9-Mar-03/10:21 AM Reply

Good.

[6] <{Baba^Yaga}> 9-Mar-03/10:21 AM Reply

For you, that is.

[n/a] lastobelus 17-Mar-03/4:28 AM Reply

I hope you will take this the right way. I want to make a comment that is tricky, because maybe this is based on real life and maybe the friend you forgave really did die.

BUT...it has absofuckinglutely nothing to do with the poem. It's like we're going along and you're setting us up for an emotional payoff and then the payoff is accidentally the last line from a completely different poem. It renders the preceding poem meaningless and absurd. You could fix this really easily, and keep the personal meaning for yourself, by saying something like "The day an enemy died" (that's a cheesy line, but I don't mean to write it for you just suggest a principle)

Do you understand what I mean? The poem is about forgiveness, not death, irregardless of whether your friend in real life died.