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Skin Milk (Free verse) by Fear of Garbage
What do I have to do, what do I have to do, you, you, you are not you. I feel strange. Sometimes I think I may be turning into you. I begin to look and talk like you. Sometimes you go into combat and I am afraid for you. Sometimes you take a gun and I am scared of you. I feel I may be a bit of a soldier, too. I take a well-muscled gun with me and some extra bullets too, I am a well-muscled girl trying to be you. The sun beats down for once I am tan, and not like skin milk. What do I do, what do I do, I am a girl in the forest trying to be you. You are a man with your big black gun and big black ego and I am trying to be you.

Up the ladder: Gone
Down the ladder: Pushed Too Far

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.875
Weighted score: 4.9663825
Overall Rank: 8505
Posted: February 19, 2003 8:10 PM PST; Last modified: February 19, 2003 8:10 PM PST
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Comments:
[8] god'swife @ 209.178.176.219 | 20-Feb-03/8:04 AM | Reply
Fascinating. Awkward. "You are not you" doesn't make sense here and detracts from what you're saying. it would seem he is what he is, and you have discribed it. I like the sort of dumb way this is written. Even the illiterate have insights. Can you find something more interesting for 'well-muscled'?
[8] god'swife @ 209.178.176.219 > god'swife | 20-Feb-03/8:29 AM | Reply
I mean the second use of the words. They are terrific with gun.
[n/a] wOrnella Mutiw @ 198.81.26.172 > god'swife | 20-Feb-03/7:20 PM | Reply
even the illiterate have insights... What a line. What makes you so literate? Being from Orange County and writing generic poetry. Given that your poetry has merit, it's still nothing new or exciting. Read the other poems by Fear of Garbage...quite fucking awesome. I like them alot better than the usual girl, cock, religion crap you write about.
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