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nightly (Haiku) by <~> insomnia drifts.
listless hours of stolen sleep
plagued by ideas.
Up the ladder:
There is no Happy Hour in Bakersfield, Ca.
Down the ladder:
Federales
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.230769
Posted: February 9, 2003 11:46 PM PST; Last modified: February 9, 2003 11:46 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.630823 Overall Rank: 579 Comments:
[n/a]
Caducus @ 62.105.88.10
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10-Feb-03/1:54 AM
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Reply
Fantastico ! but I think line 2 contradicts insomnia ?
iT CAN ACTUALLY BE INTERPRETED EACH WAY ON A 2ND PERUSAL, STOLEN SLEEP CAN BE SLEEPING OR NOT BEING ABLE TO
now try it in a bed that shakes noisily all night.
now try it in a bed that shakes noisily all night.
For what reasons, exactly is the bed shaking? Be more explicit in your works, make me, the reader, see what you are describing and...oh, sorry-that's a comment! (Heh ehhheehh...ahem)
Whatever's wrong with you is no little ting.
If stupid fat fuckfaced dicklicking retards could fly, this place would be an airport.
yep, that was how I spent last night.
Thats how I live.
I knock on your door. I tiptoe on the floor. I hope your daddy ain't home right now - he warned once before.
you gonna plague me with more than ideas?
or am i too fat, ugly, and sucky a web page designer?
1. I like the punctuation in this one. It isn't gimickey. 2. You're a far better poet than I am, and frankly I'm the last person in the world to critique painting. My paintings are both ceaselessly confusing subtly facetious. 3. I have no idea if you are fat or ugly, and since your web page has barely any content it is impossible to judge your design skills. 4. I like you and I always liked you but what I don't like is your smart mouth.
come on now. MY smart mouth? you have that over and above me ten fold. surely you see that? give a little quarter. don't begrudge me a corner of your demense.
the web page was set up as an online portfolio for people who want to pay me insane amounts of money to paint their walls. it has not been updated in a while, and probably won't be, since i have too much work as it stands already. so, as for it being poorly designed...? the painting you and -=Dark_Angel=- had fun with is from a children's book i'm shopping around right now. the bee is the main character. as for being a better poet, i thank you for the compliment. you're not so shabby yourself, but it seems you lack discernment. i am usually amenable to helping somebody who feels like they have something , but can't get over the wall. so, if you're serious about poetry, and want honest criticism, i'll give it. i won't be nice; i won't be smart--but i will be very technical with you. my mouth is only smart with those i know can volley. so, please take it as a compliment and not as a slap that you have been so abused. i shall be gentler in the future. p.s.--i'm usually a smart ass when i come home tuned up after a fine night of drinking.
JESUS CHRIST GIRL I WAS JOKING. POETRY IS NOT MY MEDIUM, IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME, NOBODY READS IT AND IT'S FAR TO EASY TO DO BADLY. THIS IS AN ONLINE DIVERSION.
yo yo yo check this out ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ b ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ IT'S A BEE IN A CARROT PATCH LOL ASL
oh. ha. ha.
(i see my sense of humor's gone missing again. woe is me!)
Do you, TanHand, take Zzinia as your wife, in fatness and in fatitude, in talentlessness and in lack of talent? I do.
i usually watch shows about animals when my head won't let me sleep...but then again, i'm not what you'd call "all there"
If god exists why do the Rolling Stones so obviously kick Creed's ass?
because keith richards is a monkey who can play guitar and blabber like a content junkie who has property in Jamaica?
boing.
Idealy haiku should appeal to at least two of the five senses. It's something I don't do every time either.
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