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Dancers of the Night (Other) by Teen14 Dancing embers call my name
"In the fire you'll remain."
Sweeping flames of red and yellow
Open the door to all that bellows
Smoke's a risin' out the chimney top
Rising, flowing to the top
It screams
It wails
"Oh fire of hell! Burn away the dark of night!"
Dancing little embers shout
"The night is young and we're alive flying out the chimney tonight."
The fire glows into the night
Making all the world a bright
Blazing fury of fires call my name
"In the fire you'll remain."
Up the ladder:
alone baby
Down the ladder:
Synchronicity (Senryu)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Posted: January 31, 2003 3:15 PM PST; Last modified: January 31, 2003 3:15 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.4034123 Overall Rank: 3098 Comments:
[10]
deleted user @ 152.163.213.201
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31-Jan-03/7:24 PM
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Reply
its nice, i like the rhyme and the imagery. I think i understand what your saying >10 :)
pretty much agree with JC some nice imgery here, think the 1st 3 lines of the last stanza needs a re-edit, it kind of goes a bit off there but a good read
I just wanted to wrap it up. The world has been all lit by fire in homes. There are some distinct charcters in this poem: Hell fire, smoke, and flames.
The hell fire is taking a bad person to hell. The smoke wants the darkness to go away. The little embers are just happy and having a fun time.
Wait smoke wants darkness to end? Smoke causes Darkness. Other than that i like it -7-
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