poemranker ::Olden by smlink84

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Other № 36606

Olden

Member since 2002 · Posted 16 Jan 2003 · 4 comments

I sat there in my chair Rocking back and fro, I listened to the snares Brought from the wings of a crow. It first circled my chair As I matched it's stare, It came down in a graceful sweep As it landed near my feet. "Should you or Should I?" it asked Sitting there I thought "Should I what, let myself go, And my mind trot ever so slow?" I then beckoned a sneeze, "Blessed is he" I thought to myself, "Delusional is me". To my suprise, It had brought me a message It came on my shoulder And told me, "I am here for you And it is time", "Order of the faithful divine Do not mistake me as a fine" Laugh I did, As you can guess But had I known I wouldn't have, I confess. For the next moment I started to see The memories long forgotten, And an old carcus, Rocking on a wooden bottom.

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mean 6.86 weighted 5.50 rank 2723 views 175 View voting details →

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4 comments

[9] horus8 16-Jan-03/9:51 PM Reply
obviously a brilliant poet dumbing down with hard tweaks and over used symbols..this piece was funny, serious and ended fucking out there baby! a great read.
[8] Topaz Servias 21-Jan-03/7:32 PM Reply
Pretty good, I see some Looking back with regret
[9] Freethinker1602 8-Mar-03/7:49 PM Reply
Have you met with Morrigun per chance? You seem to have met a black bird that is fated to take the lives of many. Or perhaps you have ridden with Cerronus?(if that is how it's spelled)
`Kitty
[8] lastobelus 12-Mar-03/12:47 PM Reply
vibrates between brilliance and pat nonsense rhymes like a schizophrenic man rapping. The last lines made me shiver, and I thought carcus must be some ancient obscure mythical boat. But a lot of googling reveals only mispellings of carcass.