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A Hancock Fanatic Writes (Free verse) by Nicholas Jones
Well, stone me! I've come up With a theory. Alone, by myself, Me, colour-supplement educated me, Who, like a distorted Henry's Cat, (who knows everything about nothing, And not too much about that) knows a little about Many things. I can debate All the leading topics of the day, But only with information gleaned From the front page of the Daily Mirror Or the opening bongs of News at Ten. Anyway, my theory, it goes like this: There are two types of people in this world, Firsty, there's your A-type, and they are like Bill Kerr, Sid James or Hattie Jacques. Every week, they are always the same, Never able to break out of their Defining characteristics, will always be Lazy and Australian Crooked and devious Or just female and fat. These people always play The same version of themselves And are not able, or permitted, To change. Then, there's your B-type, Exemplified by Kenneth Williams or, In the later TV series, Hugh Lloyd: They are new people every week, Changing identity as the plot dictates, Always different, new, free From the shackles of determinism, But yet, somehow, Also always the same - Same comic voice and general syle, 'Stop messing about!' he might say, As registrar, mechanic, Or when accidentally on the Outside of an aeroplane. On the whole, I'd rather be Bill Kerr, Because he called Hancock 'Tub', And slept till three in the afternoon, Refusing to change his watch From Australian to British time.

Up the ladder: What am I doing?

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4082
Posted: January 15, 2003 3:18 AM PST; Last modified: January 15, 2003 3:18 AM PST
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Comments:
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 15-Jan-03/5:01 AM | Reply
liked the 'carry on' film references to your ideas of the 2 types of people, and you wove the end quite nicely, not really my shot of vodka but still liked downing it in one. Your work is always polished i'll give you that Mr J. *8*
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > Caducus | 16-Jan-03/6:41 AM | Reply
I'm glad you like the poem; it does tend towards the flippant. I do worry that anyone who isn't obsessed with Hancock's Half Hour probably won't get a lot of it. Also, Henry's Cat probably never made it out of Britain, but he was one hell of a mellow, yellow feline.
[n/a] Ranger @ 212.219.142.161 | 15-Jan-03/6:08 AM | Reply
You could be Dr. Seuss-in-a-box! Liked the first stanza!
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.96 | 15-Jan-03/6:34 AM | Reply
Didn't like it. I thought it was vulgar (vulgar adj. from the Latin vulgaris meaning of, or pertaining to, the masses; common)
[n/a] Nicholas Jones @ 137.44.1.200 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 16-Jan-03/6:38 AM | Reply
I like a bit of good, honest, vulgarity. Like those naughty seaside postcards I used to sneakily look at as a child when on holiday in Scarborough.
[10] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Jan-03/12:08 AM | Reply
you think that's pretty clever don't you boy...flying along on your motorcycle...oh sorry..i broke another mirror.....DON'T LEAVE ME HIGH, DON'T LEAVE ME DRY. <Bachus is nodding off to high and dry, nick smacks him awake saying...you just don't get it do you bong boy! yeah..i guess i don't nick. but you know what...it's the best thing that you ever had...the best thing that you had has gone away.....so don't fucking leave me high don't leave me dry...because, i wouldn't do that to you, as you can see..i'm ears wide open, but my flippant nature is too pheromonic? nay man..look to your left...see that flourescent pink life jacket? that's me treading these fourty foot swells also..nice poem.
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