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Nature's Artistry (Free verse) by Quarton
Mockingbird in flight, so brief in your passing, dulcet melodies out of repertoire singing. Like time's passage, life's future waning, fading notes, sweet sound traces lingering. Nature's artistry evolved, carols so evoking, composition unsung, spared human meddling. Music so fair, like angel's harps fingering, wafting down, latent harmony revealing. Life's innate impostor, why deserved of praising, each aria clear and pure tho' not of your making? Phrases well turned yet repeating; ever feigning, well versed trite mimic on life's fickle staging. On wind waves soaring, other songbirds parroting, melodies by rote, only listening; pretending. Hackneyed player, banal imposter; ever reprising, novel notes undiscovered, mimicking yet beguiling. Mockingbird in flight, with wing beats slowing, are your melodies flawed, diminished by rendering? Then Hamlet on stage only Shakespeare's words aping, a Mozart symphony just an orchestra by rote playing.

Up the ladder: No Logic
Down the ladder: A Face Of Sadness

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Weighted score: 4.9403987
Overall Rank: 9037
Posted: January 12, 2003 8:25 PM PST; Last modified: January 12, 2003 8:25 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 13-Jan-03/2:50 AM | Reply
so what you're saying is...don't talk to strangers..unless they have candy?
[n/a] Quarton @ 12.217.212.111 > Bachus | 13-Jan-03/8:04 PM | Reply
No. Talk to the stranger but don't
eat the candy.
[5] hipster flare @ 209.68.66.47 | 13-Jan-03/9:40 AM | Reply
Consider it a clash of styles, but it seems like you've used a lot of words to say very little.
[n/a] Quarton @ 12.217.212.111 > hipster flare | 13-Jan-03/8:38 PM | Reply
Well...you may be right but I meant to use lots
of words. Really, just experimenting as this is
different for me. Evidently not that great and I
am aware of Occam's razor and an economy of words.

But, my intent was to give this the flavor of poems
written in the days before brevity was in vogue.

"Occam's razor, from pen to paper,
matter diffused; truncated to vapor.
Glanced lasciviously, simply to look,
money embezzler just a common crook.

Blanket of white written as snow,
violent tempest reduced to a blow.
Uncontrolled rage described as mad,
crestfallen sorrow expressed as sad.

All transformed yielding to changed,
orderly straightened is now arranged.
Acute sorrow generalized as sadness,
blissful serenity nothing but gladness.

So Occam's razor intended to show,
scarcity of words the poet's wise goal.
Yet, too much economy in written verse,
may err on the side of overly terse.

So why not embellish the poem a bit?
strike down seemingly better than hit.
Wintery gale more descriptive than gust,
and old Occam's maxim not a poetic must.
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