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deep (Free verse) by bxjay170 how deep can my deep love be
its so deep when i think of you i can't sleep
its so deep i cant eat or speak
you say my love's not real,but its deeper then sea
dam can't you see what u do to me
its with you i only wonna be
your name is branded on my heart
even if we are so far apart
but our love doesnt have a end because everyday a new and stronger one
starts
you give me 100% satisfaction
i shouldnt say no more words cause love is not demostrated by words but
by actions
since you left my life's no longer clear its full of confusion and
static
Up the ladder:
Bliss Eternal
Down the ladder:
Axe Murderer
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 1.0
Posted: January 11, 2003 2:32 PM PST; Last modified: January 11, 2003 2:32 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.523188 Overall Rank: 12755 Comments:
[3]
markmarkmarkmark @ 81.153.235.105
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25-Jun-04/4:25 PM
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Reply
spelling and grammar aren't what poetry is about, but the lack of them distracts from the message. All that aside, I could see the feeling behind this. Avoid cliche - deeper _than_ the sea, is not a fresh image.
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